When expectations are unmet,
When plans change,
When things don’t go as you planned,
When people don’t commit to showing up,
What do you do?
Adjustments are like pivots in the game of basketball.
I remember when I was learning how to pivot. How stationary one foot as to be, while the other has the freedom to move;
It’s a metaphor of being grounded while going with the flow of life.
Sometimes we happen to choose one or the other--staying grounded or going with the flow.
But just as you can pivot and do both, which leads to success in managing the ball, the offense, and not giving access to defense;
You can do both in life: staying grounded and going with the flow.
Examples of ways to stay grounded:
Set your intention for the day; like choose one gift you can give yourself (ie. Speaking up for yourself)
Connect to your others who can remind you of who you are, affirm you, and also create space for you to grow; those that can both balance being compassionate towards you and holding you accountable or "telling you about yourself..." with love
Create a daily or weekly routine
Remind yourself of your goals
Journal using guided journaling prompts
Create a vision and mission statement and remind yourself of them often
Practice gratitude; create a gratitude list consistently
Engage in Deep-breathing
Put your bare feet on the ground…literally…walk/stand barefoot in sand, grass, water (be mindful that surroundings are clean :)
Have discipline in honoring your boundaries
Go on a trip with an intention
Examples of ways to go with the flow:
Plan your day on the morning of
Pick a specified number of priorities for the day, so you can leave room for whatever else may arise, like other ideas
Celebrate your accomplishments
Journal or self-reflect and write/think about whatever comes to your mind without judgement or self-criticism
Move your body (ie. Walk, dance, skate, etc.)
Do something spontaneous
Explore a new place
Watch a new movie/tv show
Go on a trip without an itinerary
What else can you add?
The importance of both staying grounded and going with the flow is that you teach your mind, body, and soul to respond to what is not within your control, instead of being easily thrown off by it. When you respond, you can do so with more grace and with clarity of solutions. When you train yourself to do this, you can approach adversity differently, as you won’t be so easily bothered or bogged down when something doesn’t go the way you desire. In doing both, you recognize both your power and your ability to release what is not within your control. These are healing methods for depression and and anxiety which often are emotional states that can cause you to feel a loss of power or control.
In play, when a bad play happens, you may have been conditioned to just move to the next play and that strategy serves a huge purpose while in the middle of a game or competition and a timeout or a film session can better aid in breaking down that bad play to apply new strategies going forward in the game or competition;
In life, there are different strategies you can take, and sometimes you do have to wait to reflect so that you can adjust appropriately and sometimes you have to adjust in the moment. Practicing staying grounded and going with the flow increases your self-control, your ability to respond and not react, and your self-awareness. It also helps you to show up genuinely healthy in relationships with others and helps you to continue managing what you are responsible for managing. Remember, pivoting successfully means you are still in control of what is in your control. External change doesn’t have to change what is within your control unless you allow it to.
How else can staying grounded and going with the flow work for you?
Written by Kheri A. Corbin,
For those on the verge of reacting or acting out of character,
For those Black Athletes,
And the ones who genuinely love them