If I were to ask you what image comes to mind when you think about balancing, I wonder what you would say. Often, balance looks like juggling or it looks a tightrope walker, or it looks like carrying a bunch of things at once (*cue Erykah Badu’s Bag Lady*). Balance, in the context of this article, refers to what ever actually works for you. During the offseason, balance may look like spending more time with family than you do teammates, while in season, looks like spending more time practicing and traveling and making adequate time for conversations with your loved ones vs. physical time with your loved ones. Balance doesn’t always look like equality or 50/50. It doesn’t mean if you spend 30 minutes with one teammate, you need to spend 30 minutes with another. It’s, again, whatever works best for you. There’s some things that make balancing a much lighter, effortless endeavor.
Some helpful ways to balance relationships:
Know yourself-What are your values? What are ways you receive love and feel appreciated? What are your preferred ways of connection and communication in season and during the offseason?
Know your people-What kind of people add value to your life? Who empowers and encourages you to take up space and show up in the world? Who brightens your day? What kind of people energize you when you are around them?
Connect with yourself-What are ways you learn about you and acknowledge new information about yourself? Do you date yourself? How do you demonstrate value and appreciation to yourself? When’s the last time you have given yourself flowers?
Connect with your people-What is the best way to invite in fun and play into your relationships? When’s the last time you had a real, in depth conversation with a friend? How do you demonstrate and receive care from family?
Apply healthy relationship skills-What skills and ways of relating do you excel in? Is listening your forte? Are you an active listener? Do you know what brings the people in your circle joy? Do you remain curious in your relationships with the people you want to grow with? What skills are you seeking to gain so that you can increase the joy within your relationships?
I hope this enhances your perspective on balance in relationships, because busyness can at times reinforce the need to avoid the people that are actually your biggest supporters whether you perform well or not at all.
Written by Kheri A. Corbin,
For those who are successful in sports but struggle in relationships,
For Those Black Athletes
And
The Ones Who Love them