You may have been conditioned to be in bondage to something or somebody.
People-pleasing, anxiety attacks, financial struggles, poverty, choosing lower standards in relationships (formerly known as settling), doubting yourself, going "from 0 to 100," hyper-independence, and believing limiting beliefs..
All of these keep us in bondage to something.
If you’re people-pleasing, you may be in bondage to the habit of placing others on pedestals and lowering yourself in comparison to them;
If you’re experiencing anxiety attacks, you may feel in bondage to anxiety, stress, and overwhelm;
If you’re experiencing financial struggle and have a history of poverty within your family or ancestry, you may be in bondage to a scarcity mindset;
If you have recognized a cycle of settling in romantic, platonic, or familial relationships, you may be in bondage to low self-worth;
If you’re doubting yourself, you may be in bondage to insecurities;
If you are going "from 0 to 100," are easily triggered, or are allowing triggers to pile up and ruin your day, you may be in bondage to depression;
If you are hyper-independent or self-identify with the lyrics of Boosie (*cue I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T), you may be in bondage to mistrust of others;
If you believe the lies of limited beliefs, you may be in bondage to past trauma.
Identifying the experience as bondage is meant to push you to get out of stuck places.
I understand this is a different perspective to have because it requires a greater level of ownership and accountability, and I hope it starts you on a path of freedom; For freedom first starts with awareness that you’re chained in the first place.
What does this look like for the Black Athlete?
In your experience as a Black Athlete, think about...
Whose influence have you placed above your own voice?
What has pressure felt like in your body?
Is there a history of poverty in your bloodline and if so, what thoughts about money or abundance have been passed down to you because of that history?
What are you tolerating from others that you really don’t accept just to say you have support and to avoid the feeling of loneliness?
What are you trying to manage or figure out without support?
In presenting these questions, I challenge you to think deeper and thereby deepen your relationship with you and free you from the bondage of whatever it is you may be chained to.
Written by Kheri A. Corbin,
For the ones who feel stuck and stagnant,
For those Black Athletes,
And the ones who genuinely love them
I had the fortunate opportunity to participate in an affirming community that promoted healing for Black Professionals. Within this community, I met Courtney Leak, who I’m giving credit to for coining the term “Black and Boundaried.” (Something about me is that I’ma give credit where credit is due :)
I love this term of Black and Boundaried, and how it comes with the element of freedom. I attach having and maintaining healthy boundaries to creating ways for you to be free, authentic in your expression of yourself and free in your growth as an individual. Boundaries significantly aid in the ability for us to simultaneously take care of our individual selves and our relationships, within all contexts: romantic, familial, platonic, professional, etc.
Historically, our boundaries were dictated by someone who deemed themselves or were deemed by certain systems to be in power. Boundaries around our time, energy, bodies, spirits, minds, and information were not within our power and control. So, to be Black and Boundaried carries with it a stance to take and own the power that rightfully belongs to you and belonged to you since birth.
As we have explored this month: the impact of getting real about what it means to Be Black, the importance of self-awareness in knowing your personal triggers, and the blessings and griefs that can come with excelling and thriving, I hope you were able to establish boundaries and absorb the importance of having those boundaries.
As Black Athletes, within sports, you can be conditioned to have boundaries dictated by others. Think about who dictates your schedule, your conditioning/training, and your diet regimen. There’s nothing wrong with having healthy influences that help you in your path to making and maintaining healthy choices and boundaries, but remember that ultimately, the decision lies within you on which boundaries to set and how you go about setting and maintaining them.
Your Blackness is whatever you want to make of it and so are your boundaries; The Power is within you.
What Boundaries do you have in place to protect your peace?
What Boundaries do you have in place to preserve your energy?
What Boundaries do you have in place to protect your positivity?
What Boundaries do you have in place to preserve your Blackness?
Written by Kheri A. Corbin,
For those who are learning boundaries as a from of self-love and relational wellness,
For Those Black Athletes
The Ones Who Genuinely Love them